Did I mention I'm the overbaring husband? I'm probably on Amanda's case more often when eating out to make sure the meal is gluten free, or to tell the wait staff that she has Celiac and is not allowed to have any gluten ingredients in her meal. I get evil glares every now and then, so I've tried not to say anything at times. But in my defense I'm just trying to look out for her.
I know this is tough on Amanda and she gets frustrated often and the last thing she needs is for me to remind her that she "can't eat certain foods" or that she has a "special diet" or that "she is one of those gluten free people".
I don't always know at what point I should say nothing when eating out, because I don't know at what point she will say something about her gluten free dietary needs. I'm always scared of being too trusting, but I know that I don't always see it from her perspective. I can't imagine how it feels to have to ask the same questions each time "Is there a gluten free menu?" "I have gluten allergy, are there any particular items on the menu you recommend?.... Is there wheat in that sauce though?.... Does your burger have filler in it?... Is that coated with flour?" and then have to put up with quick "Oh no's" that leave you thinking that you're just not quite sure they understand what you are talking about.
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I don't always know at what point I should say nothing when eating out, because I don't know at what point she will say something about her gluten free dietary needs. I'm always scared of being too trusting, but I know that I don't always see it from her perspective. I can't imagine how it feels to have to ask the same questions each time "Is there a gluten free menu?" "I have gluten allergy, are there any particular items on the menu you recommend?.... Is there wheat in that sauce though?.... Does your burger have filler in it?... Is that coated with flour?" and then have to put up with quick "Oh no's" that leave you thinking that you're just not quite sure they understand what you are talking about.
Being the celiac and also seeing the effect it has on friends and loved ones when I get ill eating out ~ I get where you are both coming from. I know I get so tired of the endless checking ~ even at some places where I have done my DUE diligence, asked all the questions and then thinking I am safe have eaten something only to realize that somewhere along the line - communication was lost and I end up ill. I have had friends so want to say something, and haven't because they don't want to embarrass me and yet kick themselves afterwards for not jumping in and showing their support, either in my efforts to order a safe meal or to convey that now I am ill because "someone" along the line did not understand. I keep having to remind myself as a Celiac the only way people will learn is if we do get out there, we do speak up and hammer the point through that we NEED to eat gluten free - it's not just a request it is a REQUIREMENT of our bodies if we are to remain healthy. And I have to keep reminding myself that if I do get ill, I need to speak up ~ knowing that my reaction in part is an immediate fatigue and listlessness, then also give the right to say something to those I am dining with, whether it is my significant other or my friends. The only way people will learn is if we all speak up ...
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